I'm a horrible blogger

So I'm a horrible blogger.  I haven't posted in months.  I have lots of pictures as I'm sending them to my trainer, but nothing here.  Sigh.

So I'll dump them all here at once, ENJOY!

Back to Food Logging

Image credit

OK so I have fallen off the food wagon pretty hard.  I don't mean I don't love food anymore.  If only.  But that I mean I haven't been logging or blogging for that matter.

Also we got this brand new computer.  Man I feel like I'm in Star Trek.  It's a 27" Lenovo horizon table top PC.  It's basically a giant tablet that is a full computer.  AKA I'm touching the screen like Data here.  (Actually I'm using the keyboard.  Though the on screen one is pretty good esp if you have use a regular tablet keyboard before.  Really your gonna want a mouse too.  Ok so it's the concept and it's f-ing cool so back off!)

So!  It's back to logging on the computer to get to use the shiney new toy.  I'm using Google drive this time.  There is a desktop app that will sync it and your computer and there is an app for my phone.  I'm putting not just my shopping list up there anymore.  It's also got my meals and calories.  No macro nutrients yet, give it time.  Also I've got what I'm calling food cards.  Basically they vary from a list of ingredients to full recipes.  Some recipes I've stolen from the internet and some are mine.  If a recipe came from a cookbook, it's not there yet as most of my cookbooks I have digitally so if I forget what the ingredients are I can loaded it up on my phone and see.  Now I can also pull the other ones up.  Plus no more recalculating the calories because I lost the notebook, password or didn't pay for the next month of service.

If you want to get a look at this feel free to leave me a message here with an email address that I can use to share the folder to you.

Leftover Reicpe

So Luke is making me write this.  Normally I wait before writing down a recipe but Luke says no this time.  The "Better Than That Sex We Just Had Twice Earlier This Morning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies" recipe must be written down before I forget all the things I messed up to make it awesome.

I start with EGGLESS CHEWY OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES and then realized I didn't have enough flour so half the flour is pancake mix.  Also I didn't have quick oats, so I used two packages of Quaker Maple Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal for a half batch.  Everything else I did the same and made a half batch.

WTF, I hate oatmeal raisin cookies and THESE THESE COOKIES WILL MAKE YOU DREAM OF OATMEAL RAISINS!  Also no eggs and no white sugar needed so bonus.  Also very filling.  Give them a try.

Leftover Checkin

Goals:

(format fail in google reader, and I don't feel like fixing it)

 1) Only non-soy chocolate.
 2) Two sodas a week.
 3) Salt and pepper squid once a month.
 4) Out to a restaurant once a week.
 5) Two hard candies a day.
6) Kickie at least once a week.
 7) Be prepared.

Summary:

I did five out of the seven (1,2,5,6,7) yesterday!

Still at too many salt and pepper squids in the last four weeks, but I haven't made it again.  Number 4 is going to take a hit tomorrow as I'm meeting my girlfriend for lunch.  We need time to catch up!

I picked up 7 from yesterday!  So even though dinner got turned over for wonderful reasons.  A good friend I don't see often came to dinner.   Then a found out a good friend of mine from NY was in town and he came over with one of my favorite local peoples.  It was a full house, exhausting but fun.  I had the meal all planned but couldn't cook it.  So I asked one of the other guests who is herself a very good cook to make it.  It was awesome!  She was more than happy to as she loves cooking.  That I let her cook to me is also a huge deal as it's a sign that my OCD is calming down again.  It was real bad with all the changes in the last year.

Side note, with these goals I've already seen a drop in my weight.  I think it's a decrease in bloating from the soy and the sodas.

Oh recipes?  Yep got the link to the one we made yesterday but alas we ate it.

Chicken with Sun Dried Tomatoes and Orzo

The only changes that were made were more garlic and some of the diced tomato was reserved in order to have a chunkier sauce.  It was very good though next we will probably use a different pasta.  With 5 breasts it served 6 people.

Leftover Checkin

Goals:

(format fail in google reader, and I don't feel like fixing it)

 1) Only non-soy chocolate.
 2) Two sodas a week.
 3) Salt and pepper squid once a month.
 4) Out to a restaurant once a week.
 5) Two hard candies a day.
6) Kickie at least once a week.
 7) Be prepared.

Summary:

I did four of the seven (1,2,5,6), not bad.  I'm happy with that.  Number 7 got lost form last time and number 4 didn't get picked up like I thought it would.

Number 7 is in the grey area.  I didn't do my best ever at fair but second best.  I found a place that serves gyros without soy.  I don't remember the last time I had one.  So I had one, it wasn't on the plan but I was also out of food.  Honestly, it wasn't that good.  I think I'll skip it next time.  I ran out of food because I couldn't carry everything.  Though that meant for the drive home we were set.  Also I stayed hydrated all day even though I didn't bring more that a smaller water bottle in with me.  I just keep drinking beverages which also helped with the not eating crap.

Number 4, we went out to eat when we got to Houston.  I had a salad and a burger with cheese.  It was soy free and not particularly large but it wasn't good and I ate it without thinking.  So 4 is off the list.  I plan to go out this Friday which would be a week from the burger so everything should be back by this weekend.

Also 2 shouldn't be checked because I have had NO soda in the last week. :)

Flexibility

The best part about these goals is they are flexible.  And allow me the ability to do things like make pumpkin chocolate chip cheesecake.  Though I'm on the look out for a better serving dish.  My pie pan bottom wasn't big enough for my crust

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cheesecake (No Bake, Soy-Free)

3 (8oz) packages of softened cream cheese (or at least most of them)

1 can Libby's pumpkin pie filling

1.5 cups multi grain cheerios

1 cup sugar

5 Tbsp melted salted butter

pinch of salt

a handful of chocolate chips (Enjoy Life brand is soy-free)

To make crust:

Use a food processor to grind up the Cheerios.  Mix in about 1/3 cup sugar and salt.  Add powder to melted butter and stir.

Press into the bottom of a 9" spring form pan.  Bake in a 350deg oven for 10-12min until the mixture changes color and begins to bubble.  Remove from oven and let stand until hard.

To make filling:

Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth.  Add pumpkin a spatula at a time, mixing thoroughly before adding next portion.  Taste between adding portions to make sure favor is as desired.

Finally assembly:

Choose pan to use.  Flip bottom of spring form pan over serving pan and place in the serving dish.  Gently tap the back of the pan for just under a minute.  Slowly lift pan.  If crust is still attached repeat tapping and lifting until crust detaches.

Spooning filling mixture into the crust.  Sprinkle chocolate chips on top of filling.

Let sit in the refrigerator for at least an hour before eating.

Leftover CheckIn

How did I do yesterday?  I set up rules, did I follow through?

YES!

I think I need this (btw it's an etsy link so you can totally buy it for me):

Goals:
(format fail in google reader, and I don't feel like fixing it)

1) Only non-soy chocolate.
2) Two sodas a week.
3) Salt and pepper squid once a month.
4) Out to a restaurant once a week.
5) Two hard candies a day.
6) Kickie at least once a week.
7) Be prepared.

1) Yesterday, I had no soy-ed chocolate!
2) In the last week, I've had more that two sodas but NONE were yesterday!
3) So far this month, I've had salt and pepper squid three time, but NOT yesterday!
4) In the last week, I've eaten out twice.  Tomorrow will make a week since the first one.
5) I had NO hard candies yesterday!  Better than my goal.
6) I have kickboxed with Luke once this week.
7) So far I've been able to face every food bridge, this weekend will be the real test.

Leftover Thoughts

So I have been trying to maintain my body weight.
I have been failing.

I went looking for an image and found this one.  Click it, it's a link to the site with an interesting article about failure.

.

Basically, remember you'll fail sometimes.  It's your reaction to failure that is more important.  My father always talked about "learning experiences."  It's a topic that seems to be coming up a lot in my daily life.  My brain seems to be trying to tell me something.

"Hey stupid!  Stop being stupid!"

"I'm not stupid!  I just want to be like everyone else."

"Yeah, stupid!"

I see people who are in good shape eating things like chips, chocolate, pizza and other things and I want to be able to eat it too.  Forgetting that I know nothing about how they normally eat or about how they feel afterwards.

They may have a lifestyle like the one I had in Cali, where they were so active they could eat whatever they wanted.  Well in my life today, that doesn't work.  I don't have time to be anything more than moderately active without giving up time with family and friends.  Time that makes me happy.

They may have a medical condition that makes it extremely difficult to put on weight.  The number of "skinny" people I know who fall into this category is growing as I talk to them more about it.  I'm LUCKY to be able to put on weight when I need it.  How strange it is for me to think that.  To think that I'm lucky to be fat.  That it means there is a whole slue of issues I don't have.

They might be having a treat.  I'm not with these people all the time.  Maybe they only eat this way the few times I see them.  Perhaps the rest of the time they don't eat the pizza or chocolate.  That for them it really is the treat it should be.

So Where To Go From Here???

Do I try to regiment my not healthy things?  Say only on these days or only so many times a week?  Do I start a checklist?  Keep a tally?  Where is the balance?

This is where I start to feel lost and depressed.  I want this to be simple.  My emotions get in the way.  I start to feel like I have no control and no hope of control.  

I need to start saying NO to myself.  No chocolate at work, no chips, no hamburgers (that is a white flag food for me), no!

But sometimes can I?  Is there a balance?  The article talks about trial and error.  Can I let me myself try different types of balance to find the right answer?  I have to let myself risk failing.

Ok then here's what I'm going to try.  I'm going to give it a week starting today and including my out of town trip this weekend (I'm going to the Texas Renaissance Fair (TRF))!

1) Only non-soy chocolate.

   I asked the store walking distance from my work to carry the chocolate I can eat and they got it in stock.  So no more soy-ed chocolate.  If I want chocolate, I walk to the store and get it.

2) Two sodas a week.

  Soda is a bad food yes.  But it's a nice treat.  Twice a week, I'll let myself have stimulant free and naturally sweetened sodas.

3) Salt and pepper squid once a month.

  This is a fried dish.  I've had it three times in the last week and a half.  It needs to be a once a month food.  

4) Out to a restaurant once a week.

  So that is actually my diet normal.  However as I start being actively poly again, I will be eating out more.  Time to reign it in.  Once a week no more.  The housemates can go out without me.  I decide with who and when and where I want to go out.

5) Two hard candies a day.
  This is pretty easy.  Normally I have one or fewer.  However, if I'm pulling back on the chocolate, I'm going to have to watch this one.

6) Kickie at least once a week.
  Luke is teaching me to kick.  It's fun.  I heart it. We were doing it every Friday.  Then I fell off the wagon.  It will be my baseline exercise.  It doesn't have to be Friday, but it needs to be once a week.

7) Be prepared.
  I'm going to TRF.  I need to bring food I can eat.  Food that is soy free.  So I need to pack my lunch.  It worked well at Celtic Fest, so let's do it for TRF.

Ok seven is a good number and a good place to start.  One week is a short time.  I can do this.  IF not, I CAN adjust the seven!